Gentle Forces & Pasagshak Point

MOUNTAIN VIEWS Column
Kodiak Daily Mirror
Published July 1st, 2016

Gentle Forces

A little over a month ago, in a window seat of the back row on a RAVN flight, I sobbed as I looked out on the ocean below. The passenger next to me, someone new to me, put his hand on my shoulder out of concern. Earlier that morning, my mom had passed away in Anchorage and I was on my way home to Kodiak. The gentleman told me he understood my grief, as he had lost his son a year prior. He showed me the silver plated necklace with his son’s name engraved on it. I knew it was ok to let the tears flow.

Unbeknownst to me, this was the start of what is referred to as The Year of Firsts. This was my first time seeing the ocean without my mom in the world. The light hitting the tops of the waves was intensely bittersweet.

“Be gentle with yourself” were some of the first words of encouragement my friend Claire shared early on as I faced an unknown future with my mom. Any chance Claire had, she kindly reminded me of it in texts, emails. Be gentle. Be gentle. Be gentle.

It is this gentleness with each other and most importantly with ourselves that allows us to heal. Some of these most gentle actions hold such beautiful healing powers, as we open our hearts to them.

After the waves crashed with such fury and the eye of the storm passed over-
it is the  soft purple of wild geraniums and the soothing  mosses all different shades of green that will helps me heal and discover a new self.

I explain to my husband and kids that I need time and space. I’m not the same person I was before. I ask for more time alone. It can’t be enough, I feel. One rainy evening, I am running errands while the rain pelts my windshield. I drive by Harborside Coffee slowly and I gaze inside with longing. In the warm interior, people are sitting with coffees staring out the large front window. I am envious of that space and time. I want a day to just sit and be. And stare. For a long time. And drink multiple chais and iced coffees and contemplate the meaning of life.

Waves crashing against rocks. Strong winds. Earthquakes. Nature makes sudden forceful changes. But then with the most gentle of nature’s energy, nature makes progress of a different sort. A gentle breeze. The peace of a small stream.

Quiet, gentle, beautiful forces indeed.

By Zoya


Photos are from a hike out to Pasagshak point~a hike neither Patrick or I had ever done before! We both felt like we were in Ireland or Scotland. Or one of those Kodiak-like British places. It was sunny, rainy but every minute on the point was gorgeous. 

fields of purple lupine

Narrow Cape in the distance

Kodiak Daily Mirror Article: Ouchy deals big and little

MOUNTAIN VIEWS COLUMN
Kodiak Daily Mirror
Published June 17th 2016

Woody Island, June 4, Day 2 of Girl Scout camp.
“Ms. Zoya. This bug bite hurts.” Scout Donavyn pulls up her sleeve to show me her red skin and small, white bug bite on her elbow. I can see that Donavyn has been trying hard to not itch, as it isn’t yet scratched raw.

A painful bug bite. Ahhh yes. I can fully relate. Those suckers enjoy me for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. The bugs have been particularly thick this spring.

Donavyn is a newer scout to our troop and this is my first camp on a camping trip with her. I adore her scout enthusiasm, as she wears her green bandana proudly over her head the entire weekend on Woody Island. A fellow leader showed her how to put it on all by herself and I smile when I see her wearing it.

“Lets do something to help cool that bite off.” I open my first aid kit and she stands and watches as I look for a remedy. At Safeway the night before I stocked my emergency kit with some anti-itch lotion for bug bites, as I knew the bugs could be rich on Woody Island.

Lsat fall I took a wilderness first aid class. During the weekend course, fellow attendees and I learned about how to put injuries into two categories: Is it a big deal or little deal? I’ll admit to not being the most instinctively calm person in an emergency situations, just ask my kids and husband. The sight of blood on my loved ones has a history of sending me into slight panic. My hope was that a little education and training could help water down some of that panic.

The class helped me think more methodically in emergent medical situations. Classmates and I learned how “big deals” are injury to the organ systems, the brain, situations where emergency help needs to be activated soon. “Little deals” include things such as more minor injuries to the skeletal system. This made total sense to me. Light bulbs went on. I could do this.

On Woody Island with Donavyn, out comes the Campho-phenique. A piece of tissue paper and onto her elbow I apply it. Dab, dab. Pour on a little more. Do a full circle around the bite to cool that red area. A faint smile of relief comes over her face.

These little deals are big deals for trust, understanding. They are the chance for scouts to let leaders know what ails them, and for us to listen and respond and help if needed. A Mother Theresa quote that has always spoken to me is, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”

“Come back if it still bugs you.”

Donavyn nods and looks at her elbow, seemingly pleased with the results. I’m glad. And so grateful that Band-aids and anti-itch bug care are the only first aid skills I have to employ with the scouts at Woody Island.

Kodiak resident Zoya Saltonstall is a mother of two and a physical therapist. She loves Labrador retrievers and chocolate.

Summer Vacation Memories

Brewster with a healing 'nick' watches a game of crazy eights

What I know about summer vacations

What I know about summer vacations is that what we remember the most is the crazy, unexpected moments, the things that go wrong. These are the memories forever etched in our minds. Not the times when all flights went on schedule or when the weather was perfect. But the times when we were eaten alive by bugs, or when an outboard dies and we're left paddling back to shore with one paddle.

What about other peoples summer adventures, you ask.  Same.  I want to hear about some of the hardships. Did anything go wrong? Anything at all?   A little  hardship brings an antagonist into the story. Thickens the plot.

During our  trip to Afognak last weekend, Brewster got his forehead nicked by a machete. Patrick's machete. An accident which occurred while hiking and clearing the Devils Club and Salmonberry bushes out of the way of one of our favorite trails. Brewster running every which way under the jungle of bushes surprised Patrick  and before Patrick even knew Brewster was there, his muzzle had been nipped by the machete.

Brewster hardly knew what happened to him, as blood was pouring down his muzzle. I think the only thing puzzling him was why the kids were both crying and screaming incessantly.

Patrick was quick to  suggest that I sew his wound up with dental floss to which I said I'd do nothing of the sort. I don't have the faintest how to sew a wound, nor did I have a thread or a needle. It was completely out of the question.

For the first time ever in an emergency, I think I may have been the calmest one one around. We hiked on with the kids scowling at Patrick, Nora sobbing very loudly in the back of the hiking line. Patrick led the way, just heart broken every time he saw Brewsters bloody muzzle.

I was trying to explain to Nora how head wounds are especially bloody because of how vascularized the scalp is, and how Brewster didn't even know what had happened to him. I don't believe she heard a word I said.

 As I write this, Brewster naps quietly on the couch, dreaming of those squirrels he chased on Afognak. His forehead wound is healing up well with no further interventions needed from us.

He still doesn't really know what happened to him. But we'll always remember.

Zoya

It's Blueberry Season!

Today Nora and I picked 2 cups of blueberries from one bush.  It's blueberry season!  And it is a mighty early blueberry season at that.

Last year the blueberries got ripe around the middle of July, but I seem to remember that they do not usually get ripe until the end of July or even early August.  It seems everything is early this year.  Maybe we'll get lucky and get an early fall and first snow!

Ripe blueberries in June unbelievable.

Patrick

The Archaeology of Kazakof Bay

Danger Meadows in the distance at the head of Kazakof Bay

The archaeology of Kazakof Bay can be summed up in 2 words - 'drowned coastline'.  The coastline is lined with spruce trees killed during the 1964 Great Alaskan Earthquake when the coastline sank around 5 feet in this part of the archipelago, and many of the tree trunks are still a few feet below the high tide line.  There are very few beaches and it is clear that the coastline has been extensively reworked by erosion.

It's also clear that much of the archaeology has been washed away.  In support of this idea, we only found 4 prehistoric sites, and one of those was an artifact scatter on a beach that represented a site that had already been obliterated by erosion.  That means that there are now 6 or 7 known prehistoric sites in the whole bay, and that is not very many for such a big bay.  We saw evidence for a lot of erosion during our Malina Bay survey (click here), but it seems far more of the coastline has been lost in Kazakof Bay.

One of the coolest things we did find was the remains of the WWII logging camp at Danger Bay.  We even found an observation post where the soldiers kept a lookout for marauding Japanese planes and boats.  Gregg and I imagined the bored soldiers smoking Lucky Strike cigarettes and playing cribbage while keeping an eye on an empty horizon.  Patrick

A prehistoric multiroom depression found while on survey

Checking out a beach - a lot of in-and-out of the kayaks while on survey

At high tide we could follow the creeks amazing distances inland

A WWII observation post

Debris associated with a WWII lumber mill

Kazakof Bay

Kazakof Bay, or, as it is otherwise known - Danger Bay, is a beautiful place.  But it has a reputation as an area of Afognak Island that has been heavily logged.  So even before the survey began I did not hold out high hopes for scenic quality.  Boy was I wrong.

Whoever planned the logging did a good job because while on the water we had a tough time seeing any evidence of it.  There are big buffers of uncut trees and it seems like whole ridges were saved for esthetic purposes.  And when we did see clear cuts they had mostly grown back pretty well and consisted of surprisingly tall trees (like 30 to 40 feet high).

Gregg and I would paddle along and ask each other, 'Why aren't people coming here to kayak and camp?'  'This place is gorgeous!'  And it was funny because we saw no evidence of other travelers.  Go to Shuyak Island and you are bound to see other kayak campers and evidence of their activities.

What's ironic is that Kazakof Bay is really close to town, and, compared to the rest of the Kodiak Archipelago, super cheap to access.  It's about 1/2 the cost of a flight to Shuyak and 1/3 the cost to say Uyak Bay, and the land access permit, while required, is free if you are not camping, hunting or fishing - and only 125$for the whole year if you do want to camp and hunt and fish. Patrick

Kazakof Wildlife

Gregg glides on by Bird Rock

Kazakof Bay was full of wildlife.  We saw bears, sea otters, eagles, foxes, and all sorts of birds.  One of the coolest wildlife moments was one morning when we were paddling at dead low tide.  I was wearing polarized sunglasses and the bottom was RIGHT THERE as we glided along on the surface. 

We could see all sorts of sea creatures and plants.  Some of the anemones were gorgeous.  And then I kept seeing these sort of white blobs that looked like they were twisting and swimming.  I looked closer and realized that they were nudibranches - basically snails without a shell.

I tried to take a picture and video with my waterproof camera and they would instantly dive for the bottom.  For blobs those guys are fast! I did manage to get one half decent image (see bottom photo).  At home I identified it as Melibe leonina.  You can see its intestine track through its translucent flesh.  I gather they capture food with their hood, and are quite the predators.  They supposedly even eat small fish!  You can read more about them here.  Patrick

This guy came by and checked out our campsite

Seagull egg on a cliff

Mister bear - he just watched while I surveyed a beach berm

The white thing is a Nudibranch - Melibe leonina

Camping on the go

Gregg and gear

I've done a lot of archaeological surveys by kayak, but they have all been in May or September - never in the heat of summer (except one mosquito plagued canoe trip on north Afognak many years ago).  So at the start I was a little worried about using the teepee and woodstove when it was hot, sunny, and buggy outside.  As a back up we even brought along a traditional tent with a floor and bug screen. But we never needed to use it.

We did try and find campsites that faced east and were cool and shady in the evening.  A big discovery was that burning a woodstove tended to drive anything flying out of the tent.  With the tent lifted off of the ground and the door wide open it was sort of like hovering over a campfire - only without the smoke or bugs.  Perfect. 

We pretty much had all our packed into 2 barrels and at each campsite we'd carry the barrels up the beach and set up camp.  Pretty simple.  Patrick

A few times we filled up our water bottles without even getting out of the kayak

Our clothing got pretty salty by the end of the trip

Our final camp - we lifted the teepee high to catch a breeze

Exploring the beach after dinner

We found a lit woodstove drove the mosquitoes out of the tent

Secret Picnic

Saturday Afternoon, in the rain, Jeremy and I took the kids on a picnic to Secret Beach.  We got to the beach by boat.  Jeremy paddled his kids in a canoe while Nora, Stuey and I went by inflatable kayak.  Stuey paddled one of the kayaks all by himself.

Once at the beach we set up tents for shelter and lit a great big fire.  We cut some alder branches for roasting sticks and cooked hot dogs and s'mores.  No one seemed to mind the light drizzle and the kids played in the rocks.  And no one sheltered in the tents either.  Later all the kids tried their hand at paddling while Jeremy did his part as a 'sheep dog', and herded the kids about the water.

And then it was time to pack up and paddle back to the cars.

Patrick

 

a month of grief

At one month, what does grief look like? This first year is a precious time, I remind myself. 

 Coming out  of  a storm. Waves are quieting down. There is still a major swell, but the waves aren't beating me up against the shore like they were. I've come up for air for many days now and able to look around again.  

Music seems more beautiful. I find myself turning up good songs a little louder in the car. The sun roof gets opened a bit more frequently. I don't mind if I’m wearing mismatched clothes. I"m doing my best and that is good. 

Be gentle with youself, my friend Claire encouraged right after my mom was diagnosed with cancer.  I took  this to mean be gentle with my expectations of myself, of others.

Sometimes I really don't want to be around people. At times a trip to Safeway can feel daunting. So Patrick will go instead.   

Recently I put on lipstick, lip liner. A skirt. And smile. I am starting to feel the beauty inside again. And its ok. I my feminine self   come alive once again. I know shes in there and its good to see her for a short bit.

Loss is hard. Life will never be truly the same, people remind me.  

Beautiful things seem more beautiful. The ocean  and beaches are even more breathtaking. Sad lyrics are even more heart wrenching. My heart has been broken.  

I find myself talking to my mom. 

Hi mom, I love you. 

 It brings me comfort. Nothing major. Just to let her know I’m thinking of her. 

My spirit lightens. 

Zoya

View from the teepee

This past week Gregg and I conducted a 4-day archaeological survey of Kazakof Bay on Afognak Island. We traveled by inflatable kayak and camped as we went.  The scenery was gorgeous and we got super lucky with the weather. I'll write some more about the camping, wildlife, and archaeology in posts to come.  Today I'll show the view from our second camp through time.

It was sunny and hot every evening on the trip so we tried to find campsites that faced East, and were shaded by the tall spruce trees.  That way we could light the woodstove and not over-heat in a tent flooded with sunshine.  In the morning the rising sun would dry off the dew in camp.

Anyway, here is a series of photographs documenting how the view changed from just after setting up the teepee on our arrival, through sunset, moornrise (we were worried the high tide might flood our teepee), and sunrise.  Patrick

Wildflowers in the Alpine

Eschscholtz Buttercup - Ranunculus eshscholtzii

For the past fortnight I've been taking the dogs skiing practically every day.  We climb up Pyramid Mountain and then they chase me across the snow and we hike back down. The wild flowers are blooming like crazy. Two weeks ago the skiing was still pretty good, but by last week it was getting pretty skimpy.  There is still a run that is 600 vertical feet long - only it is broken in the middle and you now have to cross a short section of grass to ski the whole run. 

Last week I decided I'd try and learn a new flower every day.  I already know a lot of them like the Pixie-eye Primrose, White Anemone, Avens etc, so I went looking for the ones I did not know.  Each day I did not bring the plant book up with me so it was sort of a two day process.  I'd try and memorize the flower I found and then I'd look it up in the book when I got home.  And then the next day I'd find the flower again and confirm my identification.

I was surprised to find buttercups and hawkweed that are native to Kodiak.  I'd thought all hawkweed and buttercups were invasive species - but no I gather there are relatives of the standard roadside buttercup and orange hawkweed that do indeed belong here.

Anyway, here are the new flowers I learned the names of last week.  Patrick

Snow Bed Marigold - Caltha leptosepala

Another of the buttercup where you can better see the leaves

Leatherleaf Saxifrage - Leptarrhena pyrolifolia

Wooly Hawkweed - Hieracium triste

Dying snowfields, Brewster and Lupine

Yellow Anemone - Anemone richardsonii

On the ride home the doggies love to stick their heads out the car windows and sniff