Long Day...continuing to make progress

I just left Stuart in the hands of a great friend and NICU nurse, Alexis Furin. I went to high school with her husband, Buck, and she works night at the NICU. I requested that Stuey have her earlier today and was TICKLED PINK that she is his nurse. There is nothing more comforting than to have his care in her hands. The nights are the hardest for me to leave him and tonight it was so much easier knowing she would be with him.

Ahhhh...what a long day. I need to do some serious cucumber slices or cold compresses to help the puffiness in my eyes. Talk about major cry fest...over and over again. For some reason today I was more emotionally exhausted than I've ever been. I think the closer Stuart gets to discharge, the more excited I get about getting him home and the harder it is to leave him in his little bassinett. I just want to scoop him up and make a great escape. Also, the more time that goes by, the more bonded and attached to him I am. Today it was all put into perspective, however, when the mom of the baby next to me told me her daughter has been in the NICU for 1 month already and she probably has 5 more weeks. The baby was 1 lb 7 oz at birth...pretty amazing. I think the mom said she was born at 23 weeks or so. The baby is in a covered, dark unit-she had me peek in and see her little girl. It makes my emotions about Stuey's uncertain discharge date seem silly, as families wait weeks and months to take their little ones home.

Stuey is on such a small amount of room air flow oxygen and his oxygen saturations did much better this evening during feedings. AND he was much more alert for this evening's feeding...looking around and he fed for longer. He seems to be feeling better. Many people (including Alexis) think that he looks like me-especially the eyes.

Today I had lunch with Cathy and Mike which was fun. Felt good to get outside, go for a drive, have a yummy Monte Cristo Sandwich at an Anchorage Deli and visit with them before they head back to Homer. They were on their way home from a trip to Tucson. Then tonight I was blessed with a visit from my sister, Bonnie. She gave me her shoulder to cry on and after I was feeling much better she got yummy Thai food which we ate in the hospital cafeteria.

Patrick is so supportive. He reminded me that things are going well on the homefront and that he and Nora are doing well and to not feel rushed to come home or feel bummed if Stuey needs a few more days. I'm getting things lined up for discharge (car seat, CPR refresher, discharge planning videos, etc....) so when the time comes I"ll be ready. Gosh I can't wait to get home. Talking to patrick today was fun cause I could hear Nora babbling in the background. She was making sounds which I've never heard before. Amazing how 1 week can be such progress in her speech!

Off to bed to catch some zzzz's before my 6 AM trip to the hospital to feed Stuey.

Thursday Morning Update

Yesterday was a long, but good day for Stuart and I. With him nursing so frequently, I am called to his side every 2-3 hours by the nurses. He tends to fall asleep nursing and last night before I went to bed the nurse noted his weight was significantly down. It is primarily because it takes more effort to nurse than bottle feed. Last night his nurse gave him bottles every 2 hours or so and he ate a LOT. Thank heavens. He was probably thrilled to not have to work so hard for his food! He seemed so tired yesterday. Poor little guy.

Every night by 8 or 9 I have such a hard time leaving him. I am eager to be able to sleep by his side. There is a possibility that tonight I can "room in" with him, where they give me a hospital room and he can be next to me in his bassinett. We'll just play it by ear and see how his oxygen needs do today. Its amazing how he can make significant progress in a matter of hours. His day nurse yesterday noted that in the last 5 hours of her shift, his oxygen needs decreased significantly. He is barely on any oxygen now. Its such a good thing.

Where I'm staying has been so convenient-Providence House. Its like a hotel-except without the maid service (which I prefer) and rooms which are meagerly furnished. For instance, on my bed there is a top sheet as a bottom sheet. I am forever rearrangeing it to get it to stay on my bed. The best part about the house is how close to the hospital-a 2 minute walk. I'm at Stuey's side within 5 minutes if they call (I have to wash my hands for 2 minutes before seeing him-standard protocol).

The bad part about the house I discovered is when people cook strong smelling foods and it sits in the house all day. Yesterday evening I smelled like a deep fried fish stick. The smell was sooooooo strong-there was a group deep frying som bad smelling fish. When I got up to my room the smell had permeated even through the register and I could faintly smell it up there. I know in the grand scheme of things its no big deal, but I found the whole thing kinda funny. Definitely did not get my appetite for deep fried fish going!! Also, I'm not terribly inclined to use the well equipped, large communal kitchen because I don't want to make small talk with the other people here. I know it sounds rude, but I don't have the energy. Also, I don't feel like having to clean up a big cooking mess. The less energy expended, the better at this point! The cafeteria food at the hospital is pretty good, fortunately.

I spoke with Dr. Johnson yesterday-he was on call when Stuey was admitted and has been followig Stuey's care in the NICU. Easy going guy-easy to talk to. We discussed Stuey's progress and at the end of the conversation I thanked him for his expertise and care for Stuart. He smiled and said, "Oh, we give your baby extra special attention." He was kidding, of course. I have found all of the doctors to be very approachable on the unit as well as ALL Of the staff. Dr. Johnson thinks that in 2 or 3 more days we'll be on our way. Today is Stuey's last day of a 7 day antibiotic course and we'll see how the oxygen weaning goes.

Now to call Patrick, see how and he and Nora are this morning. I can't wait to be back in the thick of our family breakfast routine in Kodiak. :) Little Nora running around ready for breakfast, NPR on the radio, Patrick analyzing all of his weather sites for the day figuring out what kind of skiing to do....I appreciate the simplicity of that morning time so much more now.

My Little Valentine

Its Valentines Day! And I"m still away from Patrick. :( But I have a little guy who will be my Valentine for the day here in Anchorage....he has a bit of dark hair, smiles in his sleep and just gets cuter by the day-his name is Stuey!!

Always good to start my day with time with Stuart! He looks good this morning and sounds like he ate several ounces several times throughout the night. His appetite is kicking in. I was glad he took a bottle from the nurses....saves me night trips to the NICU! I was able to sleep from 10-3, pump, then 3:30-5:15. Pretty darn good sleep!

Yesterday I was feeling pretty physically zonked by evening-I could feel a possible cold coming on. This is NOT a good time to get a cold. I'm not sure I'd even be allowed into the NICU with a cold. They have amazing health restrictions-no one admitted with cough, cold, runny nose, etc...Its good they are so strict. Before entering the unit we have to wash our hands for 2 minutes with a timer-from fingers to elbows. All visitors, employees, etc...
This morning I'm feeling better with no true cold symptoms. Thank heavens.

Spoke with the nurse practitioner, Ann,this morning who has been following Stuey upon his arrival. Sounds like they go slowly and let the baby take the lead with weaning from oxygen. She said its possible that he will go home with a bit of a higher respiratory rate than normal-but one of the final steps is for him to have decreased oxygen need. So it could be a few more days. As I told her, I want him to take his time, get totally better and I'm just so thrilled to be breastfeeding him. I think before I was breastfeeding him I was ancy for more/faster progress.He has been through a lot this past week-and may need a bit more to recouperate (sp?). I'm excited to see what today brings for him and I.

Tuesday Eve update

Another great day of progress for Stuart. More good dirty diapers, great breastfeeding....nurse Carol would call every 3 or so hours when he would start waking and I would be there within minutes to feed him. Feels so great to finally be able to breastfeed. He is still on a tiny amount of oxygen-and his respirations are still faster than normal. Hard to tell how much longer he'll be here. I figure if its 1 day or 3 days or 5 days...its whatever he needs. As the nurses say, the little ones dictate the weaning process from the oxygen. They're the bosses!

It seems that by 8 or 9 at night I get more wiped out and emotional about him being in the hospital. Today I did well until I got ready to leave him for the night. He lay there in his little bed with the oxygen tube in, little red spots on his face from random bandages which have been removed in the past several days and I get sad. I hate to leave him all night. But I know I would run ragged if I went in every 3 hours at night. So the nurses said they'll bottle feed him and they'll call me if he refuses that. I don't want him fed through the tube in his nose anymore-now that he can breastfeed. Hopefully the tube will be gone by morning.

Today he had a nurse who has had him for 3 day shifts of his hospital stay. Nurse Carol. She took such good care of him. She doesn't work again till Saturday and hopefully we'll be gone by then. But if we're still here, I imagine he would (hopefully) be on her caseload again. All the nurses are so amazing with their work. They handle the babies so well and are wonderfully compassionate and supportive. I admire the work they do. So many monitors and lights and crying babies to respond to.

Talked to Patrick a couple times today-sounds like he is tempted to start dipping into Nora's dirty clothes pile for Nora's outfits. I would suggest he do laundry, except that he has broken the handle on our washing machine twice and I'm scared it would happen again.

The repair guy was over just a few days before I left fixing it. He ordered 1 more additional handle which is in our cabinet-I think he knows it could quite possibly happen again. Smart repair guy!! Patrick has a bit of history of trying to force the door open when it is on the "lock" mode. I think he sort of likes that hes not encouraged to do laundry now!! I just don't want Nora running around in grubby clothes. But I guess in the grand scheme of things, its not a big deal.

I've been thinking about her hair and combing it, too. It probably has a little rats nest in it. I'll do some work with the hair detangler spray when I get home and I'm sure she'll be fine. Funny how some of these little house details creep into my mind now and then!

Off to bed to get some zzzzz's and can't wait to see little Stuey bright and early in the morning.

Nora News from the Homefront

All-is-well-at-4002-Cliffside.
We-miss-Zoya,-and-forward-to-hanging-with-Stuart.
But-we-muddle-along-happily-enough.

Nora-loves-to-cuddle-up-with-the-dogs-and-read-under-the-computer-desk.
Note-she-digs-Maine-Boats-homes-&-Harbours.



Nora-loves-this-'poncho'.
The-other-night-she-put-it-on-Roxy-Dog,
and-somehow-it-ended-up-around-Roxy's-midsection.
It-took-a-bit-of-complicated-doggie-manuvers-to-get-Roxy's-legs-back-through-the-neck-hole-to-set-her-free.
Patrick

Tuesday Morning Bliss

What a good way to start my day! I went into the NICU this morning and the night nurse suggested we try breastfeeding, so we did. She watched his respirations decrease quite a bit over the night (he LOVES tummy sleeping) and felt comfortable giving breastfeeding a go. She said, "We'll see how his stats do and go from there." Sure enough, Stuart latched right on, nursed away blissfully. His oxygen saturations went UP, his respirations went DOWN (very good thing too) and he is a champion nurser.

I have the cell phone on all the time now waiting for her call to let me know he is hungry again. There is a possibility he may have to go under bilirubin lights for jaunice....but I hope not. :( :( we'll know more later today. No biggie, its just that he'll have to wear little guy sunglasses and be under a lamp, etc...just more intervention. His blood tests later today will dictate what they do.

Anyhow, just a GREAT start to today. I've been waiting for the moment I can breastfeed....I"m so thrilled.

Monday update...from Zoya

Another day of good progress for Stuart. He is fully fed from breastmilk now via a tube which goes straight to his stomach. Prior to this, he was given supplemental electrolytes,glucose and vitamins through IV. He has feedings every 3 hours and during the day I hold him for these, chnange his diaper, take his temperature. His nurse today was excellent....she had him in a little blue and white striped outfit-his first time in clothes. I loved seeing him in a little outfit.

His oxygen needs also continue to decrease but his respirations remain higher than normal still. The nurses explain how this is his way of "fighting off" whatever it is that caused this....whether it be a slight pneumonia or something else. He is still on antibiotics for 2 more days.

Today he is looking so much more relaxed. He gets that "punch drunk love" look after a feeding where he has the reflexive smile in his sleep and he looks so relaxed. It is the first day he has done this. I think up till this point he has been working so hard on breathing and healing that he hasn't been able to "kick back and relax".

I continue to do fairly well. Today I ventured out to a store to buy some hairclips. My sister Bonnie loaned me her car. Bless her heart. It felt good to go for a drive. THe salesgirl said, "So, when are you due?". I smiled and said, "Oh, I had my baby 4 days ago." She looked at me with a blank look and didn't know what to say. I could see she was thinking...."I"m never going to ask someone that question again."....I wasn't bummed...heck-I look 20 weeks pregnant. I thought it was pretty funny actually.

I appreciate the phone calls of support and words of encouragement. Every once in a while I get waves of sadness, but for the most part I"m doing very well. And when I do get a wave of sadness, I call someone and it helps to let the tears flow. The nurse today said, "Zoya, lets face it...you've got a chubby, otherwise healthy, wonderful, strong baby boy who is just needing some extra time for his lungs to kick into gear." I appreciated her telling me this. :)

Patrick continues to do amazing on the homefront...and he is going to get added support from friends this week for taking Nora in the afternoon so he can get his exercise in....thanks to Claudia, Alexis, Marias....his exercise will help him get through this week of single parenting. We feel so blessed to have such wonderful people around us!! Nora is donig so many new things since I left. Its going to be so fun to see all the changes that occur in 10-14 days!! I miss her and Patrick so badly. I can't wait for our little family unit to be under one roof once again.

Off to bed....I'll be up at 5:30 for Stuey's 6:15 feeding. Can't wait to begin my day with him tomorrow!

Thoughts from Zoya

It sure is hard seeing my little guy still hooked up to antibiotics and tubes. When I go visit him there is often a little shock time where I have to re-adjust myself to the fact that he is still a sick little guy needing oxgen, IV pokes, etc....the nurses remind me that he won't remember any of it. He is such a trooper, I tell you!

I was able to look through his chart this morning and see the docs dictations on him from the past several days. Seems like they are treating a myriad of symptoms and calling it possible Respiratory distress syndrome, possible pneumonia (being treated with 4 MORE days of antibiotics...). Doesn't seem to be one clear, Angels-coming-down-from-the-sky-type-of-diagnosis. Good news is that he contniues to decrease his O2 needs. Now we just want his respiratory rate to go down so I can begin breastfeeding.

People have been so fantastically supportive! Yesterday Ingrid Kubiak visited ( a friend from my childhood in Kodiak). She brought her camera and took the wonderful photos you saw on the website yesterda. Thanks Ingrid! It was good to catch up with her-its been years since we've seen eachother.

I saw Brian Davis and his sister. They took me to Mooses Tooth for lunch and we had fun conversation and I had my first beer in LONG time. Raspberry wheat. Boy was it yummy!!!

My sister, Brother in law and nephews have blessed me with MANY visits, many meals, a car.....they've been amazing. So supportive and loving. Bonnie made a pharmacy run the second day I was here for various odds and ends I needed...bless her heart.

Last night I saw Buck and Alexis Furin who both live in Anchorage. Buck is a childhood friend and Aleis is his wife AND a night nurse in the NICU. So its been good to have a familiar face in the unit on night shifts. We're hoping we can arrange to have Stuey on her schedule on her next shift. That'd be super.

Everyone who has come by has seen little Stuey, so thats been fun.

Yesterday when I held Stuart, he opened his eyes big and wide and looked around for about half an hour. IT was wonderful! It brought tears to my eyes, as I realized it was the first time I had seen him with him looking around like that! He has been sleeping and healing So Hard the past few days. Lets just say I was in HEAVEN being able to look into his eyes.

And Patrick is Daddio Fabbio in Kodiak. Man, I picked a good man for a husband. He is doing so wonderfully with Nora. When we talk I get the daily update of what Nora ate (or didn't eat) for various meals, what cabinets, books etc, she is getting into, what she did to the dog....dirty diaper update, I love hearing all the details. And I can't wait to get home with Stuart. Two days ago, it suddenly dawned on my "I"m a mother of 2 kids". I think for several days there I have been so focused on Stuart that it hadn't dawned on me yet that in a few days I'll be a mom at home with 2 kids. Our family is complete!

As for me- I'm doing well and taking care of myself. I"m getting good sleep, resting, eating and taking it slow. The staff is VERY supportive and wonderful here and seeing family and friends has be sooo great. Helps break the day up a bit and it is good to see people I haven't seen for a while! (ZAS)

Hello from Anchorage-From Zoya

I found a computer station here at Providence House where I"m staying, so I can give a little update on Stuart and I.

Stu is making great daily progress....still on oxygen but he is gradually decreasing his need for the nasal canula.

He is being my milk via tube to his stomach and the volume of those feedings increase all the time. He is tolerating it well and hopefully in the next day or two we can begin breastfeeding. We are just waiting for his respiration rate to come down a bit so he can manage the complex action of feeding.

I"m able to hold him a lot now, which makes me SO happy. He is like putty in my arms. One of the nurses called him "little dumpling" which I loved as a nickname! The staff here really is amazing-all so helpful, knowledgeable and supportive.

I"m doing well and giving myself lots of down time to sleep and rest. Before I left Kodiak, the nurses made me PROMISE that I would take care of myself so I would then be able to take good care of Stuart. Best advice ever, I must say. I"m feeling stronger every day as I recover from labor and delivery. The nurses don't expect me to be at his bedside all the time, as he is still healing and needs periods of low stimulus to rest.

Every day there are big changes and hopefully we'll be home by next weekend. Seems like a reasonable goal and the neonatologist said he thought that by Sat/Sun we'll perhaps be on our way. We'll take it day by day.

I'm so thankful for everyones love and support. It has made all of this much easier. My labor/delivery in Kodiak went WONDERFULLY and I had 6 fantastic friends in there with me as Stuart came into the world. I feel so blessed to have such fantastic people in my life who were so helpful in supportive in those hours following his birth. They got me going and supported me as I headed off to Anchorage 12 hours after delivery.

I"m off to rest, then to see Stuey for dinner (ZAS).

Another-Update

Zoya-reports-that-Stuart-continues-to-do-well-in-Anchorage.
He's-almost-weened-off-of-the-supplemental-oxygen,
and-his-breath-rate-continues-to-subside.
Zoya-has-been-getting-to-spend-quite-a-bit-of-time-with-him.
She-held-him-for-another-hour-yesterday,-and-this-morning,-as-well.
Tonight,-she'll-get-to-hold-him-again-while-they-feed-him-her-milk.
She-reports-that-Stuie's-breath-rate-drops-when-she-holds-him.
He-knows-who's-his-momma!

Looks-like-he-likes-his-binkie,-Thank-God.
PGS

Foggy-Day-On-Pyramid

Lisa,-Gregg,-John-Sikes-and-I-went-up-Pyramid-yesterday.
Spring-skiing-down-low,-and-ice-up-high.
Great-visuals-and-not-bad-skiing-either.
(PGS)

Saturday-Stuart-Update

The-keyboard-to-our-computer-appears-to-be-on-the-fritz.
The-space-bar-is-not-working.
Probably-has-something-to-do-with-Nora-spilling-my-wine-into-the-computer-keyboard-last-night.
Anyhow,-time-for-a-Stuart-and-Nora-update.

Actually,-not-much-to-report.Stuart-is-doing-great.
His-breath-rate-is-way-down,-and-he-is-on-barely-any-oxygen.
The-nurses-tell-Zoya-that-he-had-an-excellent-night.
Lay-there-asleep,-calmly-sucking-away-on-his-binky.
Later-this-morning-they-plan-on-feeding-him-some-of-Zoya's-milk.
Zoya-will-also-get-to-spend-some-time-with-him.

Here-on-the-homefront-Nora-has-been-a-handfull-at-times-(the-keyboard-says-it-all).
But,-all-and-all,-she's-really-been-pretty-sweet.
Today-I-have-a-babysitter-lined-up.
Thank-you-Megan!..
And-I-plan-on-a-quick-three-hour-ski-tour.
Nothing-like-a-little-excersize-to-calm-the-mind-(I-believe-this-may-be-true-of-Nora-too).

Good-Lord,-but-this-keyboard-is-annoying.
The-left-shift-key-is-on-the-blink-too.
Hopefully,-it-is-not-too-annoying-to-read.PGS

Stuart Doing Great

Zoya tells me that Stuart is doing great. One of the healthiest babies in the NICU. She even got to hold him for almost an hour this morning (which is something they only allow when a baby is doing well). They've narrowed down his problem to one of two disorders - more tests this afternoon - and neither is considered a long-term threat. Zoya has a room at providence house right next to the hospital, and should be back on kodiak in 4 to 5 days. Meanwhile I will continue to hold down the fort. Nora is doing great, and seems to dig the extra attention from Daddy.

One thing about Kodiak is the small town support system. In the bottom photo is Zoya's 'support team' (Katie St John is missing from the photo) who helped Zoya through the whole labor and delivery, and then stuck with her well on into the night while we waited for the plane to Anchorage to touch down at the foggy Kodiak airport.

The doctors and nurses at the hospital were great too. It really is a relief to know and trust your doctors even before you get to the hospital. We already knew them outside of the hospital setting. Both Andi Olsen and Laura Walters (upper photo) were at Nora's birth too, and we knew we could trust them. How often, in this day and age, does one doctor deliver both of your children? They did a great job and really helped us through some tough moments. PGS

Stuart's Update

Stuart and Zoya are in Anchorage and Stuart is doing much better. Zoya sounds well (amazingly chipper in fact - she even got a 2 hour cat nap) and tells me the nurses are all excited about Stuart's size. They still have him on oxygen but he is no longer doing the chest heaving thing. Zoya is excited to try some breast feeding this afternoon.

She also tells me that Stuart seems to like flying in airplanes - I gather he calmed down and caught some Zs on the trip to Anchorage. Maybe a future fighter pilot or astronaut? Actually in light of recent events perhaps we'll discourage the astronaut thing. Patrick

Stuart's Arrival

Zoya delivered Stuart at 2:37 this afternoon. He weighed 7 lb 11 oz (just over 3 kilos for the metrically inclined scientific types out there) and is 20.5 inches long. He's a healthy and good looking baby (if I do say so myself), but he is having a hard time getting oxygen from his lungs into his bloodstream. This means he is having to breath real hard to just keep up. So he's off to Anchorage with Zoya for a little intensive care.

I'll be holding down the fort with Nora and the dogs. The last 2 days it has been just me and Nora while Zoya has been at the hospital. Good bonding time.

And as regards the poll .. .. .. I was at home taking care of Nora when Zoya gave birth (no basketball on TV, beer or Mike Pfeffer). But rushed in to the hospital to see Zoya and Stuart immediately afterwards.

Patrick

My Mom's Birthday

Today is my my mom's birthday...here is a photo taken during a family reunion in Lake Placid New York in 2002. I thought it would be fun to deliver Stuey on moms birthday, but looks like it won't be happening...(seeing that I"m only 37 weeks along and not in labor at this moment....)....now I'll hope for a Baby Stuey Valentines Day Delivery. :) (ZAS)

Nora enjoying the beach

In this photo if you look closely you can see our house on the cliff behind Nora. The window has white trim and the red house is mostly obscured by spruce trees. (PGS)

Mill Bay Beach Near our House

This morning I had a bit of cabin fever so Patrick, myself, Nora and the dogs took a walk down to the beach. Such a gorgeous beach right within walking distance which we don't take advantage of nearly enough. Our house is on the cliff right behind myself and Nora in the photo.

Nora dug in the sand with her little "paw" gloves on. And she LOVES watching the dogs retrieve sticks in the water. Squeals of laughter. Felt good to get outside on such a gorgeous, crisp day in Kodiak. (ZAS)

Snow & Fog

It's been rainy and warm lately in Kodiak, but yesterday it finally dawned sunny and cold. Gregg and I headed up into the mountains for a day of ptarmigan hunting and touring. All the recent wet weather hung around as a glorious ground fog that made for some good visuals. Skiing was pretty icy, but on the steep, south-facing slopes we did find some sun-warmed spring corn snow.

To finish out the day, Gregg and I thought it might be a good idea to ski out the South Bowl of Pyramid to the road. So we climbed up the North side of Pyramid. Turned out to be a nightmare climb. Too icy to skin up, and we had to kick in boot tracks in the steep sections. I was scared I'd slip and slide back all the way to the bottom of the valley. Gregg dropped his sunglasses and they did just that, and he never did find them. But in the end, the run to the road was glorious and well worth the effort. (PGS)

Direct Flights to Seattle

These days the airport may seem a little bigger and the planes a little more high tech - but I'm not sure that travelling by air has gotten any better. In the old days there were flights from Kodiak direct to Seattle. The planes even had bunks for sleeping. It was more like taking the ferry or a train. Maybe a little slower, but hey, it was direct, and far more civilized. No TSA, mangled luggage, endless questions, removal of shoes, and long lines.

This photo was taken of the Kodiak 'PNA' terminal around 1950 by Don Clark. The photo is currently stored at the Alutiiq Museum. (PGS)