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Friday, July 08, 2016

Gentle Forces & Pasagshak Point

Kodiak Daily Mirror
Published July 1st, 2016

Gentle Forces

A little over a month ago, in a window seat of the back row on a RAVN flight, I sobbed as I looked out on the ocean below. The passenger next to me, someone new to me, put his hand on my shoulder out of concern. Earlier that morning, my mom had passed away in Anchorage and I was on my way home to Kodiak. The gentleman told me he understood my grief, as he had lost his son a year prior. He showed me the silver plated necklace with his son’s name engraved on it. I knew it was ok to let the tears flow.

Unbeknownst to me, this was the start of what is referred to as The Year of Firsts. This was my first time seeing the ocean without my mom in the world. The light hitting the tops of the waves was intensely bittersweet.

“Be gentle with yourself” were some of the first words of encouragement my friend Claire shared early on as I faced an unknown future with my mom. Any chance Claire had, she kindly reminded me of it in texts, emails. Be gentle. Be gentle. Be gentle.

It is this gentleness with each other and most importantly with ourselves that allows us to heal. Some of these most gentle actions hold such beautiful healing powers, as we open our hearts to them.

After the waves crashed with such fury and the eye of the storm passed over-
it is the  soft purple of wild geraniums and the soothing  mosses all different shades of green that will helps me heal and discover a new self.

I explain to my husband and kids that I need time and space. I’m not the same person I was before. I ask for more time alone. It can’t be enough, I feel. One rainy evening, I am running errands while the rain pelts my windshield. I drive by Harborside Coffee slowly and I gaze inside with longing. In the warm interior, people are sitting with coffees staring out the large front window. I am envious of that space and time. I want a day to just sit and be. And stare. For a long time. And drink multiple chais and iced coffees and contemplate the meaning of life.

Waves crashing against rocks. Strong winds. Earthquakes. Nature makes sudden forceful changes. But then with the most gentle of nature’s energy, nature makes progress of a different sort. A gentle breeze. The peace of a small stream.

Quiet, gentle, beautiful forces indeed.

By Zoya

Photos are from a hike out to Pasagshak point~a hike neither Patrick or I had ever done before! We both felt like we were in Ireland or Scotland. Or one of those Kodiak-like British places. It was sunny, rainy but every minute on the point was gorgeous. 

fields of purple lupine

Narrow Cape in the distance

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