Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving feels like it was forever ago with Nutcracker performance, work,  and putting up the tree last weekend.  Time ran away from me and I forgot to do a thanksgiving post. The evening was full  of meat and laughter and fun times!

Stuey cutting the mushrooms for the stuffing. 

Brooks brought a smoked white king salmon which was  simply amazing!

Laura serving the desserts.

Zoya

Holiday Bells-Nutcracker

This weekend was the local production of the Nutcracker. The production is done every 3 years and this year around 200 dancers performed. The dancing, costumes, lighting, choreography was really stunning and the older girls did especially fabulous on their solos and duets.

Nora finished her final performance today (she was in 2 out of the 4 shows) and I'm glad that the production is over for her and now we can resume with regular programming holiday season!

Over the years I have taken it for granted that all kids in ballet class can dance in the Nutcracker. Then a conversation this past week reminded me how our local production is   a treat. A girlfriend who moved here from Anchorage remarked how what a treat it is that our young ones can be in the nutcracker. She said in Anchorage only the top 5% of dancers can be in the Nutcracker and the top lead roles are ALL flown in from out of state. She remarked how supportive all the girls in the production are of eachother and how everyone has a good time. 

This was a good reminder for me that it truly is a gift to have  small scale local Nutcracker production  that the girls can dance in!

I"m proud of my little Holiday Bell. She worked hard and gave lots of hours to class rehearsals this past month. 

Curtain Call

Behind the scenes waiting to go out on stage

A LOT of sitting downstairs in the hallways of the 'green room'

Zoya

Foggy Walk

The fog in Abercrombie during my slow walk through the park yesterday

Here on Kodiak it has been warm and foggy of late.  Ordinarily I would not be happy about this run of weather.  This is the time of year I like it cold and snowy so I can ski, ski, ski.  But ever since I stuck an ice axe into my shin I have not been able to go skiing or do much of anything else.  And I am grounded for a few more days at least.  Being grounded is bad enough, but I think being grounded WITH great snow conditions would just about kill me.

So I am enjoying the fog.  

Cantering

Today I took Stuey to his 4th or 5th horseback riding lesson.

We shared the arena with an advanced rider-a middle school gal who was receiving lessons on the other half of the stadium with a different teacher. The students long hair bounced on her back and she was so graceful cantoring and trotting; posting seemingly perfectly. Posture perfectly upright.
 I watched her with fascination-how fast she made the horse go and what incredible control she had of it. And how much fun it looked. And hard work, too.

I realized that while she was on that horse, time was probably frozen still for her. She  noticed every small shift and change in the horses body as the horse ran along and knew how to respond accordingly. I watched her and remembered those days of youth during flute lessons or basketball when I was completely engulfed with focus and effort. I suppose nowadays I have small moments like that, but not to the depth like I did in adolesence. (I think that needs to change.)

Stuey was also fascinated by the other rider and his tendency was to keep looking over and watching her.  I didn't fault him one bit-so fun to watch! The contrast between Stuey and the middle schooler was quite stark. Stuey and his old pony, Bob, walking around the arena with an occasional trot.
Versus the middle schooler's horse running constant circles for nearly 20 minutes.

The whole scene gave me such an appreciation for Stuey's teacher, Becca, and how wonderful she is with younger kids. She really explains things so well, makes them comfortable and challenges them just enough. It was fun for both Stuey and I to see what it is that he can look forward to doing someday when he gets bigger and more confident!

Zoya


Random kid quotes from the past week, before I forget them!

~Stuey: "Want to play people?"(Stuey referring to little trains and figurines which Nora and him play inside a home made cardboard house)

Nora: "Sure! As long as your people always do what my people tell them to!"

Stuey: "Ok, Nora!"

I couldn't believe Stuey agreed to such an arrangement!


~Stuey, when crawling under the warm covers of our bed in the morning before getting up. His legs perched over mine. He says, "ahhh...mom...your legs are so warm like a hot tub"


~Stuey (while playing with Nora and Estella)
"Its so far...farther than this whole world, whole globe, past this town, past outer space, past God, past Phoebe."


~ The other night I was tucking Stuey into bed. I said, "You have all the doggies in the house in your  bed now" as Tank and Jake were cuddled up with him. Stuey and paused together and I said, "well, except Roxy. But Roxy is gone now. "
Stuey said, "Mom, Roxy isn't gone. She is in my heart with me."

A post Roxy walk in Abercrombie

Stuey finds a gravel hole

Odds and ends from Fall

At our house you know it's fall when the sunrise is through the Spruce Cape trees

This morning I was cleaning up the iphoto files on our computer and found some photos that somehow missed the blog.  Here they are in no particular order with captions.

I helped Stuey make this block temple, but he created some amazing structures by himself

Despite not having a tape player these cassettes have remained in a drawer in our kitchen for years - Zoya finally put them away

This one is sort of sad because it marks the end of me 'choosing the music'.  In the old days I was quite active in picking up new music.  These days Zoya picks out most of the new music in our house.  Looking back at those tapes brought back some memories and nostalgia for the days of homemade cassettes. Some of these tapes followed me from college to South Africa to Madison, WI and then on to Alaska.  I wish I could get a cassette tape player for my car and get re-acquanted with them.  Or .. .. Perhaps I should just go to itunes. .. ..

That's one big carrot from our garden - I actually found this type 'woody' and preferred the 'Nantes' type that we also grew as a better 'eater'

Stuey harassing the spawned out silver salmon

When Zoya was away for training in early November I took the kids for one last fishing trip out at White Sands beach.  There were still a few bright silvers coming in from the ocean but most of the fish we saw were pretty red looking.  Still you could see the fish, and that meant there was always a chance that you could catch a fish.  Stuey really, really wanted to catch one of those spawned out silvers.

'Fishing' - note stray fishing lines

It's always fun when there's a chance you will catch a fish!

Patrick

The other side of the story….

As the wife of a hunter, I'm never fully ready for a phone call from the field with bad news.
It happened today, but it could have been so much worse.

The first call came in this morning from Patrick's satellite phone. The message was brief and broken up.  I listened to it several times to decipher it. Patrick said that he had fallen and Brooks (hunting partner) didn't see him fall but that he was ok.

"Wow" my mind screamed over again inside. The thought of Patrick falling off a goat ridge and Brooks' not knowing where he was…it had the recipe for disaster. I knew, however, that Brooks would find him and that they would make their way out. (I must say, that Patrick has the best hunting partners ever. More to come on this later.)

About an hour or more later,  Brooks called and told me more about Patricks injury-a puncture wound of some sort on his lower leg which was sustained by a fall. He didn't know how bad it was but they were making their way home. They weren't sure if the injury was sustained by the ice ax or a rock.

I didn't say  anything to the kids and trying to keep on with my day. A call to my girlfriend Elke put me at greater ease…she said, "So, no organs were hit, right?" "No" I replied. "well, then he'll just get back and get all stitched up and he'll get put back together again."
This re-assured me. Yes, there would be some healing time involved but all would be well.

At this point, I knew that when Patrick came home, I didn't want the kids to see him in a bad, bloody shape. I dropped them off with my girlfriend and with ella and waited at home for the guys to arrive.

The wound was bad. A deep puncture wound with muscle exposed that really needed stitches. But after discussing pros and cons, and calling our friend who is an ER nurse- Patrick opted for no stitches. The deciding factor is that Patrick hates needles and the thought of getting numbed up, etc for stitches terrified him AND that today is Sunday and no clinics are open. We would've had to go to the ER.

 So we'll be managing the wound and helping it heal without stitches. Fortunately I've done wound care as part of my PT career, so its not completely foreign to me. And if something isn't looking normal to me in the next day or two, I'm going to have him go in pronto to have it checked out.

Oh, and about hunting partners-
I am appreciative of all of Patrick's hunting partners. They are all confident, quick, resourceful, thoughtful guys (and gals) who would help Patrick in any outdoor predicament--as he would help them. I think that why I worry so little when Patrick is on these adventures-Patrick is in the company of good people who all take care of each other.


Zoya

Ouch!

Sunrise over Kodiak's wind turbines

 This morning I helped Brooks go bow hunting for goats.  We hiked up in the gloaming before dawn.  Really just a spectacular day to be out and about in the mountains.  We saw a few goats, but mostly they were just nannies and kids which you are not allowed to hunt.

We put on crampons and climbed up a fairly steep slope and I was thinking that in the old days such slopes had not scared me at all.  Now they do, and I was not looking forward to climbing back down.  No goats up on top but the view was well worth the climb.

And then came the climb back down.  It really did not seem all that bad, and I was wondering why the prospect had had me so freaked out.  I was practically at the bottom and relieved to be back on 'safe ground' when suddenly my crampons broke free of the ice and I went into an uncontrolled descent.  My ice axe did not stop me and I saw the grass and rocks coming and was scared the crampons would catastrophically catch.  The grass and rocks did not stop me either and I did a little tumbling and crossed some more snow before coming to a stop.  Wow did that HURT!

My leg was killing me and I could not walk.  Blood started to seep through my pants and I lifted the pant leg and saw an awful hole in my leg.  That sort of freaked my out because there was no hole in my pants.  I was more than a little worried that I may have broken my leg.  Brooks showed up on the hillside above, and I yelled to him that I had fallen.  He stepped out onto the snow and also catastrophically broke loose and slid for a 100 feet or so.  However, he did not get hurt.  We later decided that the sun had warmed the top layer of the snow and ice on that particular aspect and that this had hampered the effectiveness of our crampons.

He joined me and looked at my leg.  No broken bones - just a big hole in my shin.  He thought it was from a rock - I think I got 'poked' with my ice axe.  Ghastly puncture wound but not the end of the world.  I walked back to the car using my ski pole and ice axe as crutches.  

All's well that ends well, and the fall was a bit of a wake up call.  Scary slopes are scary for a reason - you can slip and fall and not stop for a long ways.  Today's experience has re calibrated my slope sense.  Patrick

Near the top of the third (south) sister

Beautiful views but scary slopes

Looking for goats shortly before the fall

Cabins and Trails in Remote Places

Ayakulik Flats country from the top of Anvil Mountain

I like exploring remote and lonely places, and Kodiak is a good place to live if one enjoys this sort of activity.  It is the sort of place that draws like-minded individuals and I have a lot of friends who also like to explore.  So recently it came as a shock that some of my friends are advocating for backcountry cabins.  The sort of hut to hut type things that you see in the Alps or New Zealand.  To my mind this would destroy what I love about the remote places on Kodiak.  And what is funny is that my friends totally do not understand where I am coming from.

For me, once there is a cabin or a road then the area is no longer wilderness.  A cabin or even a hut destroys the feeling of remoteness.  When I go on remote trips I avoid bays and areas that have cabins - or even lakes where it is easy for people to access by float plane.  I like to camp in places where people do not visit.  And there are places I used to go where I no longer do because someone built a cabin.

Also why does anyone need a hut when a teepee that sleeps five and includes a woodstove only weighs 4 to 5 pounds?  It's not like anyone needs a hut if they know what they are doing.

But what's ironic is that I see a parallel in the divide between motorized and non-motorized trail users and the situation between me and my friends who want huts.  Motorized trail users can't understand why non-motorized people get so angry when they ride on a trail.  Basically the noise and beaten in ruts do not bother them.  But it drives the non-motorized crowd bonkers.

The same thing is happening with me and my friends - they don't value true wilderness and can't understand why I'm bothered by huts.  It's an asymmetric situation where the person whose values and needs are the most simple loses.

I guess what it all comes down to is that we should be considerate of the needs of others.  There are trails that are appropriate for motorized users.  Just as there are trails that are better left unmotorized.  And there are areas that should be left wild and remote.  I do admit I would probably enjoy a hut to hut trip in the Swiss Alps - as long as there is enough good cheese and wine.  And I would not mind a hut at one of the goat lakes up in the high alpine where people are already camping all the time.  But I'd rather we left the wild and remote areas wild and remote.

Patrick

East Fork of the Ayakulik with the Sturgeon River Valley on the far right

Panoramic view south from near the top of Koniag Mountain - Old Harbor is on the extreme left

Panoramic view north from near the top Koniag Mountain 

Holidays approaching & Life Cycles

Stuey's first grade teacher LOVES teaching about life cycles of plants and animals. Many of the projects that he brings home is about life cycles, which I just adore. I'm reminded that death is such a huge part of the life cycle and it makes Roxy's loss a hair easier for me to comprehend. 

The holidays are quickly approaching and thus far I'm not feeling too frazzled!

PHYSICAL THERAPY
Today I came home and listened to the phone messages on my landline. There was a message from someone I didn't know saying that they were referred to PT by a doctor off island and all the clinics are full for weeks. The gal heard I was a Physical Therapist and was wondering if I was taking any new clients. This scenario has been happening at least once a week lately at A Balanced Approach and it makes me bummed out to think of people in pain, needing PT and not being able to get in quickly to get treated. All the clinics are booked full.

 In 1 month the new physical therapist, Kelsea, will be joining my physical therapy practice and I'm very excited about it-giddy, actually! Kelseas' upcoming arrival is kind of a hazy dream-like something that seems too good to be true. An event which I'm not letting myself get completely excited about until she is actually here! When Kelsea and I text or call back and forth about her Kodiak move, I always have a smile on my face afterwards and a sense of peace. She is so excited to come to Kodiak and start working shortly after the new year.

The past few weeks I had some TMJ  (jaw) pain on one side and it wasn't resolving. I e-mailed my massage therapist and went in for a visit over the weekend. He did some jaw/face massage and  showed me what stretch to do for my lateral pterygoid muscles~its 90% resolved now.  The whole experience gave me an appreciation for how nice it is to be able to get in quickly with your practitioner of choice and made me extra happy that Kelsea is arriving in a few weeks to A Balanced Approach.

ROXY
I still miss Roxy terribly.

The grief comes in occasional waves and I get heartbroken that I won't see her again. Nora and I went for a walk to Ft. Abercrombie with Tank and Jake last weekend.  We had a good discussion about missing Roxy and how Roxy would stay nice and close to us on walks. Nora got a little teary toward the end of the walk and I could see it was a healing moment for her.

Friends have written condolence cards and today I got a card from the vet expressing their condolences. I expected that the vet clinic would send a card, but I thought it would be a mass produced card. Well, it wasn't. The staff wrote such nice notes about how Roxy was so lucky and well loved. And how she was lucky to have a family who loved her so much. I could tell the staff put some time into their heartfelt words, which made the card even that more heart felt to me.

A week after Roxy's death, I went into the clinic to get her ashes. The vet tech behind the desk saw me when I came in, and retrieved a small beautiful wooden box from behind the desk and handed it to me with a caring look on her face. The tears welled up inside of me and I was barely able to mumble a "Thank you" without getting too emotional. The tech gave a sincere, kind understanding nod and I walked out back to my car.

As I drove away in the rain, I called Patrick. "I got Roxy's ashes. It was harder than I thought. (Pause, tears) They put her ashes in a nice wooden box.(pause, tears, breath) I thought it would be a plastic bag in a cardboard box. It makes it harder that they're in a nice box." Patrick said, "Oh Zoya...Thats hard" and we shared the moment together. He has been through this before with Katie dog years ago and understood how hard it is.

I"m continually humbled by peoples pet stories of loss...and reminded that it IS a big loss. I let myself be sad and welcome that sadness.

I think the part that chokes me up is that I really won't see her again.  Writing that seems really cliche, but the reality that she won't look up at me with her sweet little eyes and wag her tail breaks my heart. Or lay on the lawn waiting for me outside when I pull up into the driveway. Roxy was incredibly loyal and dedicated to our family.

Zoya

Kids like it FAST

Yesterday I took the kids cross country skiing at the golf course.  I had gone skate skiing earlier and knew that it was pretty fast.  Put another way, I knew it was icy.  I did not think the kids would be able to ski on the ice and was trying to lower their hopes by suggesting that perhaps we would just go sledding.  I was explaining this to them in the car on the way to the golf course when Nora said, 'Daddy you tell us it will be bad so that it will be good.  If you tell us it will be good it will be bad'.  Nora is one perceptive girl.

We get to the golf course and they did not want to go sledding.  They just wanted to ski.  And it was pretty icy too.  I know a lot of adults who would have found the conditions 'challenging'.  They had a blast, and unlike in years past I did not have to help them get up.  It's like the last 6 years of hell - spending 1/2 hour getting the kids ready to ski and then spending 10 minutes picking them up - has finally paid off.  They like to ski.  And they really have no fear when it comes to going downhill.

On the way home Nora said, 'Daddy I had a really good time', and Stuey piped up, 'Me too!'  That made my winter.      Patrick

I made a quick minute and a half video of our adventure (see bottom of photos).  To see the video at high resolution on YouTube go to this web address  http://youtu.be/jTchx9nQH10

Finally on Snow

Sunrise this morning at the golf course

Here on Kodiak October and early November have been warm (September was actually pretty cold) and it was beginning to seem like it would NEVER snow.  And then finally on Wednesday it did snow, and it snowed a lot. And then it rained a lot.  We lost all our snow in town, but out at the golf course there is a good solid base and I have been XC skiing for the last 3 days.  The ski season has begun.

Out of curiosity I checked back through our blog to see when the ski season usually begins.  And it is usually mid to late November - so this year is about average.  Maybe a tad bit later than usual.  It's just that last year ski season began far earlier than usual, and I think that spoiled us.  Let's just hope it stays cold and snowy.  Patrick

Local Protein Feed

Yesterday after work Philip, Brooks and I cut up the deer from last weekend.  After we finished cutting up the deer we had a feast.  Philip brought some tanner crabs that he had caught the day before and I cooked up Yorkshire pudding, and 2 of the back leg flat roasts from the deer we had just wrapped up.  The crab was very fresh and the deer meat had never been frozen.  Philip brought a lot of crab and 2 roasts is a lot of meat, but it all got eaten.

The crab was truly amazing.  Zoya claims it is the best crab she has ever eaten which is saying a lot considering her dad was a commercial crab fisherman.  Usually crab is very salty and 'briny' and it is hard to taste the true crab flavor.  Philip's crab was very fresh and not salty at all.  The kids gobbled it up, and they don't usually like the crab.  Brooks even taught Stuey how to open up crab legs.

A great impromptu feast!

Patrick

Fire, S'mores & Tents; Brownie Adventures

Last Saturday afternoon Brownie Troop #118, a few parents and myself enjoyed a lovely walk to Spruce Cape point together. The wind was blustery and cold, but then we rounded the corner and the beach was in the lee of the wind, where it felt much warmer! The girls arranged and created a fire pit  and co-leader Kathy reviewed fire safety principles with the girls.  I've been around plenty of camp fires in my time, but this was my first time to learn the official girl scout fire rules (for instance, bucket of water nearby, hair pulled back into bandanas, walking all the way around the outside of fire pit, etc..) 

 All the girls had a chance to practice striking a match and later on we enjoyed smores together! 

While the fire was going, the girls  practiced setting up tents in preparation for camping adventures. We'll be doing more of that in the months to come ; I'm hoping for a winter camping adventure. Thus far, I'm getting support and help from the other parents on the the prospect of an upcoming camping trip, so thats fun! I think it will be a super memorable outing for all of us!

 I can see the girls becoming quickly proficient and independent with practice of the same tents from session to session! 

cider break

fire safety-learning the rules before lighting the fire

Nora, Estella and Natalie

Group shot!

Learning how to strike a match

smore time!

roasting marshmallows

enjoying the tent for a few minutes after set up

simple camp delights!

Zoya

Birding with Brownies

BROWNIE LEADING 101

In August I became a girl scout leader.  Since I wasn't a girl scout growing up, I anticipated a rougher transition. Or I was ready for it, at least. Everything with being a scout leader is completely new to me...the formalities, procedures,  and how everything with the girl scouts flow. I think that was the part I was most nervous about-the girls somehow discovering that I'm a "phony" leader because I was never a girl scout growing up.

Fortunately, the new role has been super fun-the girls and their parents are such blessings. So eager, excited and energetic! (And so far...no kids have asked me if I was a girl scout growing up!)

In October, Patrick and I led the girls on a birding adventure and the girls were so into it! We packed up bird books, binoculars, spotting scope and the girls brought their own birding paraphenilia.

As we walked along toward the beach and park, the girls sang girl scout songs, talked, raced eachother, sprinted ahead...picked flowers and dead leaves.  We stopped at the ocean where Patrick set up the spotting scope and the girls had a chance to look at loons, grebes, merganzers up close and personal. They were more excited than I had predicted. The brownies lined up behind the spotting scope, ready to see the birds. And they looked through their binos out on the ocean on the lookout for other birds to ID.

Patrick would eagerly find the birds in the book so the girls could identify with what they were looking at. It was fun to see their genuine enthusiasm in birding!

 The girls did about an hour of walking  on the bird viewing trip and there wasn't any complaints of "Are we there yet?". They were troopers.